I am going to start this post by saying I fully admit that I have been really bad about posting lately. I kind of fell of the horse, but for, arguably, good reason.
One of my cardinal rules is to try my hardest to blog about things besides my personal life. I try to approach each post with the frame of mind that my readers don’t want to hear what I had for lunch (Spinach Munchees – Whole Foods finally restocked!), how much weight I have lost (12 pounds since December to be exact!), or what color scheme I am using in my wedding (blue, green, and orange). I am breaking my cardinal rule today because I truly miss writing, and I thought there is an off chance that blogging it out might clear my head and help me to return to regularly scheduled programming. I mean – really - the writer’s strike is over and we are being rescued from re-runs tout-suite, and I should follow suit (especially with the juicy headlines popping up as the conventions draw near!) Wow – that’s what I call a prologue.
You might already know that the little fourth grade News-Bitch ran around drawing poorly scaled pictures of a curly haired woman in a judge’s robe, telling people she was going to be a lawyer when she grew up (okay, enough third person). About 15 months ago I realized that I am at that age when opportunities start to slip away, so I decided I would satisfy my fourth grade self, my family, and my current self by applying to law school. I told everyone who asked my plan to just see the whole process through up to the point where I hit a major roadblock. I am one of those people who believes divine intervention shapes our lives everyday, so I thought if there was any reason I shouldn’t be doing this, something insurmountable would get in my way.
I amazed myself when I did fairly well on the LSAT, and with my undergraduate grades, schools started knocking on my door. Granted, it wasn’t the NYUs or Yales of the law school universe, but with every recruiting letter and application fee waiver I received, it seemed that I was doing the right thing by following my heart to pursuing law.
I discovered a practice area, Intellectual Property law, that seemed to blend perfectly with my skills and hobby in the field of web technology and writing. I also found that the areas of children’s welfare law and animal law would be a perfect fit since I am so deeply concerned with those issues. My biggest problem, I thought, would be figuring out what area to specialize in so I could make the biggest impact on the world. I applied to a few schools and received decent scholarships and offers. I was named a Dean’s Scholar and awarded a 1/4 tuition scholarhip for the school I wanted to attend, Saint Louis University. But, as things do, it started to unravel.
I am nearing 30, getting married this summer, and with law school, I would be hitting the reset button on my career, which is scary, not only to me, but to my HTB. Though I did get a scholarship, I would still have to bring an amount of debt equivalent to a small mortgage to my marriage just as we are starting our life together. If it were just me, I would not even be debating this, but I am getting married and no longer have the self absorbed freedom of being single and making decisions. But in reality, it isn’t just me, and I am just not sure that this is realistic. I have always found a way to make things work in the past, but I am not so sure things will work this time or if I have hit that road block I thought might pop up.
I know that there is nothing gained without sacrifice, but I have until April 1st to accept or decline the offer. If I defer my enrollment, I will most likely loose my scholarship all together. There are a lot of career considerations that I am not at liberty to discuss here (rule #1 learned from Dooce), and there is also that whole timing/career issue that, ironically, prompted me to start on this path when I did. I enrolled in a class yesterday to continue my masters in communications that starts in 2 weeks, so if I don’t go to law school, all is not lost. But there has been this stomach ache that just won’t go away.
That’s what has been on my mind… consuming it I should say.
I went back to SLU law last august four years out of college. That stomach ache does not go away. luckily I got a large scholarship that covers the majority of tuition, but if not for that, I don’t know if I would be able to shoulder the financial responsibility debt-wise, as well as the lack of a paycheck. Also, be sure, starting a marriage and law school at the same time are two huge life changing events. It works for me only because my fiance is an attorney and so understands what is happening, but your personality will necessarily change, as well as your free time, interests, topics of conversations, etc. It can be very stressful on a relationship. so that’s just my $0.02. I guess it can’t be that terrible, I am still here.
Good luck! think on it hard, I am struggling with my decision every day. I do so enjoy being back in school. ALso, like you, I was in the web publishing field before going back to school so I can probably empathize. Sorry for the novel.
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Hmmm…I would try to listen to your gut as much as possible -i.e. what does it say when you block out everything else (hard I know)? Also, it’s important for your HTB to be supportive – I’m not saying he’s not – but at the same time if short-term sacrfices are necessary for long-term personal and professional fulfillment…well, then I say go for it!
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I would say, just do it. Do it now, before you have kids (assuming you plan on kids). If you feel like you have little free time now, when you have kids, you’ll feel like you have negative free time. Yes, it will be a ton of debt. Yes, it will put a financial strain on your marriage, and eat up your free time. But, if you actually succeed in getting a law degree, you will almost certainly be able to pay your debts in a reasonable amount of time.
(Anyway, seriously, who DOESN’T have tens of thousands of dollars in college debt these days?)
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I totally understand your fear of debt, as I have none because I am terrified by it. Probably to an unhealthy amount, so I’m not one to talk to on that venture.
However, I’ve known you for a solid amount of time now, and ever since I’ve known you, I’ve also known your interest in law. I don’t want you to throw aside something you’ve been dreaming about if it’s something you really want. Whoever said that quote about the things in life we regret are the things we didn’t do sure was right (at least, from my experience, so far…). And I know how well you tackled Susie Sparkles back in Brit Lit II.
At the same time, should you decide law school isn’t for you, you shouldn’t feel like a failure. You’re one of the most ambitious people I know. Just because your ambitions may have morphed, doesn’t mean they’ve dissapeared.
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I understand how overwhelming the thought of debt can be. But if your dream is to go into law and you feel very passionate about the type of law you want to practice, go for it!
If you undertake this endeavor, we’ll be here cheering you on!
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I know I’m a few days late in adding my two cents…but I remember a conversation we had last week where you were afraid that you would regret it forever if you passed up law school.
In my opinion, you know what you want to do, but you might be letting someone talk you out of it.
ps. I won’t be offended if you don’t post this comment
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I don’t know you, but found this post very interesting. As someone who has been married for five years and is now dealing with the repercussions of NOT doing the things I wanted to do before getting into the thick of family, I would advise you to do exactly what you need to do for you. I thought about the whole “sacrificing for love” thing, too, and it is truly biting me in my proverbial @ss. GOOD LUCK!
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