I have heard, often, that you should never live with your friends because it will almost inevitably ruin your friendship. If that is the case, why do we move in with our spouses? The HTB and I have been cohabitating since February. I moved into his condo when my apartment lease was up and, being enagaed, I knew it was inevitable that we would be living together soon anyway. I know: for shame, I am burning, and our marriage is statistically doomed now – whatever. In the last three months I have learned that, as a human being, I am disgusting… but, in my defense, so is he. So, we must be perfect together.
There are things that I do that I had no idea would be so repulsive to another human being, and I am wondering how I made it through twenty-eight years without realizing that. One of the gross things I do? I wander around upstairs while I am brushing my teeth. Meanwhile, unknown to me, little globs of toothpaste and spit are falling to the the carpet as I pace the bedrooms and hallway. The number one offending habit I have? Peeing with the bathroom door open and the lights off, which completely disgusts the HTB. He has developed super-sensory-peedar that he uses to sense (even from another floor) that the bathroom door is ajar while I am using it – simultaneously. As if he is saving the condo from some dastardly super-pee-villain, he calls out to me stop the calamity. “That is so gross, Melody!” As if I had forgotten to wash my hands and made him a sandwich.
What grosses me out? The furry sink. The first morning I noticed it, I thought metal shavings had fallen from the bathroom ceiling, and I thought for sure my toothbrush was contaminated. Upon closer inspection, I discovered that the little black speckles covering the sink and bathroom counter-top were little pieces of a cast off five o’clock shadow – I began worrying about my toothrush again. Between that and the little toothbrush speckles on the mirror, I think we have tied for the disgusting human awards. Yet, I am still bracing myself… it has only been three months. Who knows what other habits we might discover on one another.
i too pee with the door open and lights off.
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My hubby and I actually bought our house together before we were even engaged! We are sooooo burning! Buy your HTB a fog-less mirror and he can shave in the shower. Solved a ton of problems at our house. You walking around while brushing your teeth?? As long as you don’t leave the H20 running….. whatever.
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I shave in the shower to avoid the furry sink.
It’s furry enough from My Beautiful Wife’s long, ropey red hairs. Seriously, It looks ike a Puerto-Rican dashboard. It looks like Bigfoot’s ass.
And instead of wiping the hairs OUT of the sink, she insists on rinsing them down the drain. So every three weeks I’m fishing a big red mouse out of the p-trap. Grr-r-r-r! Her hair has the tensile strength of Romex copper wire.
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Burn, schmurn!
Tell HTB you are getting additional cardio while pacing. And being energy efficient (he should appreciate that) by leaving the lights off and saving the hinges on the door. What’s HIS practical purpose for the furry sink?
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I love this post, simply because I can relate. We moved in together while we were still dating. For one, it was a necessity for her to see my idiosyncrasies in the flesh before committing to anything more. It was fun getting to see each others’ bad habits. And really, it allowed us to see who each other really was. Made for a much better relationship. I would never suggest marrying someone before co-habitating.
Oh, and I walk around the house too while brushing my teeth. I use an electric brush and therefore am forced to keep my mouth closed
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Hey there! You will be finding things even after you’re married. LOL. Just remember, if he’s been doing it 20+ years, he’s not likely to change anytime soon. So go easy on him.
I’m sure you both will be fine. If you can make peace on money and babies, the rest is cake.
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Ha!
My boyfriend does this thing called the “pee game”. When he starts to go, he flushes at the same time to see if he can beat the toilet.*
True Story.
*The door is left open as well. Good times.**
**I still love him though. Heh.
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I have such a hard time remembering to close the door too while in the bathroom. I think the thing that bothers him most is I don’t flush the toilet after I blow my nose and thow it in there. I figure I’ll get it next time, but I notice he flushes my tissue down before using so my water conservation is busted. As for my love, he forgets to close the doors on the kitchen cabinets. Drives me crazy…All I think about is all the dust and cat hair that are now able to float onto the dishes.
As for this blog, I love the part were you refer back to your toothbrush. Your posts are starting to really come together into your own unique section of the world.
Love,
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