Comments on: Deal-breakers: What WON’T You Put Up With? http://girlsguidetothegalaxy.com/2009/04/29/deal-breakers-what-wont-you-put-up-with/ St. Louis Women's Web Magazine Wed, 08 Sep 2010 16:30:02 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0 By: stella http://girlsguidetothegalaxy.com/2009/04/29/deal-breakers-what-wont-you-put-up-with/comment-page-1/#comment-692 stella Sat, 02 May 2009 04:08:04 +0000 http://girlsguidetothegalaxy.com/?p=541#comment-692 i think that having some list of what you want in a guy is good to have, but when the list is so long that you turn so narrow minded on one type of guy, you will find yourself not opening up to other possibilities. sure, what right lady wouldn't want a guy who didn't dress in chinos/khakis? but then again, isn't it a fact that people - girls and guys - will show and share common interests? by dating, you share and teach them how to "dress better." then again, some guys are stubborn and if they're also not open minded, then what's the point. in a perfect world, our perfect guy would come out wearing a nice suit with home made breakfast in hand and catered to our every needs, but in the meantime, i think women need to be open minded but still respect themselves in the process! i think that having some list of what you want in a guy is good to have, but when the list is so long that you turn so narrow minded on one type of guy, you will find yourself not opening up to other possibilities. sure, what right lady wouldn’t want a guy who didn’t dress in chinos/khakis? but then again, isn’t it a fact that people – girls and guys – will show and share common interests? by dating, you share and teach them how to “dress better.” then again, some guys are stubborn and if they’re also not open minded, then what’s the point.

in a perfect world, our perfect guy would come out wearing a nice suit with home made breakfast in hand and catered to our every needs, but in the meantime, i think women need to be open minded but still respect themselves in the process!

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]]> By: doug http://girlsguidetothegalaxy.com/2009/04/29/deal-breakers-what-wont-you-put-up-with/comment-page-1/#comment-674 doug Thu, 30 Apr 2009 09:40:38 +0000 http://girlsguidetothegalaxy.com/?p=541#comment-674 I get it. Instead of saying "he's embarrassing", Kymberlie was following your lead and using picturesque speech to drive it home. And you're saying you don't like a clean-cut guy, as you need a guy who will claim his stake on the world without being condescending and uptight. I can relate somewhat with the “khaki debacle”. I had an opposite but similar experience with an girl I dated a few years back. She showed up at my house wearing Old Navy denim overalls. I guess I still expected her to dress up for a weekend date, as I had already made reservations to a nice new restaurant (which I had hinted at earlier in the week). We got into a petty argument that night as a result (after a few other little things went wrong). That was the point when the dynamic changed for us. I later learned that she wore that outfit not because she was trying to strong-arm her will, as I had presumed, but rather she simply didn't have a lot of dressy clothes, since she was just getting started in her career, and she was too embarrassed to say that. She was mad at me mostly because I wouldn't just "roll with it" and just enjoy her company, and I was mad at her because she didn't let me know ahead of time, after I'd busted my butt to get "hard to get" reservations on short notice. I guess if I had to articulate the "deal breaker", it was not taking the time to work through the petty stuff. My point has more to do with the fact that you could not have known this guy through the course of two months (typically people are still trying way to hard to impress each other at that stage). That fact is, you were ready to move on. That's totally cool though. I personally don't think you need a list of premeditated reasons to break-up. I sincerely think most girls lock in way too early, especially around St. Louis. Maybe the fun of this article is that girls can stop and think about what it is they want in a relationship. Maybe that is the part I can't relate to. I get it. Instead of saying “he’s embarrassing”, Kymberlie was following your lead and using picturesque speech to drive it home. And you’re saying you don’t like a clean-cut guy, as you need a guy who will claim his stake on the world without being condescending and uptight.

I can relate somewhat with the “khaki debacle”. I had an opposite but similar experience with an girl I dated a few years back. She showed up at my house wearing Old Navy denim overalls. I guess I still expected her to dress up for a weekend date, as I had already made reservations to a nice new restaurant (which I had hinted at earlier in the week). We got into a petty argument that night as a result (after a few other little things went wrong). That was the point when the dynamic changed for us. I later learned that she wore that outfit not because she was trying to strong-arm her will, as I had presumed, but rather she simply didn’t have a lot of dressy clothes, since she was just getting started in her career, and she was too embarrassed to say that. She was mad at me mostly because I wouldn’t just “roll with it” and just enjoy her company, and I was mad at her because she didn’t let me know ahead of time, after I’d busted my butt to get “hard to get” reservations on short notice. I guess if I had to articulate the “deal breaker”, it was not taking the time to work through the petty stuff.

My point has more to do with the fact that you could not have known this guy through the course of two months (typically people are still trying way to hard to impress each other at that stage). That fact is, you were ready to move on. That’s totally cool though. I personally don’t think you need a list of premeditated reasons to break-up. I sincerely think most girls lock in way too early, especially around St. Louis.

Maybe the fun of this article is that girls can stop and think about what it is they want in a relationship. Maybe that is the part I can’t relate to.

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]]> By: Lauren http://girlsguidetothegalaxy.com/2009/04/29/deal-breakers-what-wont-you-put-up-with/comment-page-1/#comment-670 Lauren Thu, 30 Apr 2009 04:57:40 +0000 http://girlsguidetothegalaxy.com/?p=541#comment-670 Doug, You bring up an interesting point, I'll give you that. But it wasn't his language choice, or even the khaki debate that made me decide to end things with The Beav. Those things were simply symptoms of a far greater difference in values. I could have bored you with a plethora of other red flags, but editorial license won out. Petty is all in the eye of the beholder. I'm going to reference Kymberlie's comment above. To some women, a guy wearing black socks with sandals and shorts wouldn't be a big deal. To her, it was. Style is probably important to her. So again, we have something that seems simple and small, but is really an indicator of divergence in personal principles. So who is to say THAT is petty? Incidentally, I would have been far more comfortable with "Kick @$$!" Kick butt is as out of place in my world as Steve Urkel at a Guns 'N Roses concert. Doug,

You bring up an interesting point, I’ll give you that. But it wasn’t his language choice, or even the khaki debate that made me decide to end things with The Beav. Those things were simply symptoms of a far greater difference in values. I could have bored you with a plethora of other red flags, but editorial license won out.

Petty is all in the eye of the beholder. I’m going to reference Kymberlie’s comment above. To some women, a guy wearing black socks with sandals and shorts wouldn’t be a big deal. To her, it was. Style is probably important to her. So again, we have something that seems simple and small, but is really an indicator of divergence in personal principles. So who is to say THAT is petty?

Incidentally, I would have been far more comfortable with “Kick @$$!” Kick butt is as out of place in my world as Steve Urkel at a Guns ‘N Roses concert.

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]]> By: Melody Meiners http://girlsguidetothegalaxy.com/2009/04/29/deal-breakers-what-wont-you-put-up-with/comment-page-1/#comment-668 Melody Meiners Thu, 30 Apr 2009 04:01:48 +0000 http://girlsguidetothegalaxy.com/?p=541#comment-668 I must have consistently low standards or something - my deal breaker is basically brooding, like super crabby, hate the world and way to somber brooding. I have the unfortunate disposition that I can have fun in a paper bag usually; I always just stayed away from the sad guy. I must have consistently low standards or something – my deal breaker is basically brooding, like super crabby, hate the world and way to somber brooding. I have the unfortunate disposition that I can have fun in a paper bag usually; I always just stayed away from the sad guy.

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]]> By: doug http://girlsguidetothegalaxy.com/2009/04/29/deal-breakers-what-wont-you-put-up-with/comment-page-1/#comment-661 doug Wed, 29 Apr 2009 21:27:47 +0000 http://girlsguidetothegalaxy.com/?p=541#comment-661 I don't mean to be nosing in on someone else's forum, but I think the reality is that girls that have deal breakers of such a petty nature are girls that quite likely knew (from 2 dates in) that this wasn't the guy for you (for quite likely even more superficial reasons than you are willing to own up to). Girls seem to need a tangible reason, such as an obvious character flaw, in order to get a free pass from their friends for dumping a guy with whom they've been intimate. Girls like to convince themselves that they were in fact in love (if only he didn't say kick-@$$ all of the time, he'd be the one; Clearly it's his fault). I'm not judging anyone, mind you, I'm just calling a spade a spade. I don’t mean to be nosing in on someone else’s forum, but I think the reality is that girls that have deal breakers of such a petty nature are girls that quite likely knew (from 2 dates in) that this wasn’t the guy for you (for quite likely even more superficial reasons than you are willing to own up to). Girls seem to need a tangible reason, such as an obvious character flaw, in order to get a free pass from their friends for dumping a guy with whom they’ve been intimate. Girls like to convince themselves that they were in fact in love (if only he didn’t say kick-@$$ all of the time, he’d be the one; Clearly it’s his fault). I’m not judging anyone, mind you, I’m just calling a spade a spade.

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]]> By: Archie Mck http://girlsguidetothegalaxy.com/2009/04/29/deal-breakers-what-wont-you-put-up-with/comment-page-1/#comment-660 Archie Mck Wed, 29 Apr 2009 21:23:06 +0000 http://girlsguidetothegalaxy.com/?p=541#comment-660 So, I know this is the girls guide to the universe but I just had to say that you were right about the khakis thing Lauren! The pants in question can be both khakis and chinos, but of course I would never correct some one :-) (though I have gotten into a discussion about whether the word "pants" was singular or plural) Here's an entire post from a guy I have tons of respect for on the issue: http://theselvedgeyard.wordpress.com/2009/03/24/the-details-on-khakis/ But then again, I don't shop at A&F.... and my jeans have holes in them So, I know this is the girls guide to the universe but I just had to say that you were right about the khakis thing Lauren! The pants in question can be both khakis and chinos, but of course I would never correct some one :-) (though I have gotten into a discussion about whether the word “pants” was singular or plural)

Here’s an entire post from a guy I have tons of respect for on the issue: http://theselvedgeyard.wordpress.com/2009/03/24/the-details-on-khakis/

But then again, I don’t shop at A&F…. and my jeans have holes in them

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]]> By: Kymberlie http://girlsguidetothegalaxy.com/2009/04/29/deal-breakers-what-wont-you-put-up-with/comment-page-1/#comment-659 Kymberlie Wed, 29 Apr 2009 20:46:30 +0000 http://girlsguidetothegalaxy.com/?p=541#comment-659 i dated a guy who would exclaim "right on" to strangers when he asked directions or any question of a stranger. he also had a wiener dog that drove me nuts and he always wore black socks with sandals and shorts. i spent a lot of time shaking my head and telling myself not to judge. this piece was great fun! thank you!! i dated a guy who would exclaim “right on” to strangers when he asked directions or any question of a stranger. he also had a wiener dog that drove me nuts and he always wore black socks with sandals and shorts. i spent a lot of time shaking my head and telling myself not to judge.

this piece was great fun! thank you!!

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]]> By: Courtney http://girlsguidetothegalaxy.com/2009/04/29/deal-breakers-what-wont-you-put-up-with/comment-page-1/#comment-658 Courtney Wed, 29 Apr 2009 19:31:45 +0000 http://girlsguidetothegalaxy.com/?p=541#comment-658 @annie Poor spelling makes me want to have a drawer full of red pens as in the movie Secretary! @annie Poor spelling makes me want to have a drawer full of red pens as in the movie Secretary!

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]]> By: annie http://girlsguidetothegalaxy.com/2009/04/29/deal-breakers-what-wont-you-put-up-with/comment-page-1/#comment-656 annie Wed, 29 Apr 2009 19:12:00 +0000 http://girlsguidetothegalaxy.com/?p=541#comment-656 I'm relatively tolerant, however I have a hard time with guys who can't spell out words correctly when texting or e-mailing (hello, I have a degree in English...) and who don't use their turn signals when driving. If you're not considerate enough to alert other drivers of where you're going, how could you possibly be considerate of me? I’m relatively tolerant, however I have a hard time with guys who can’t spell out words correctly when texting or e-mailing (hello, I have a degree in English…) and who don’t use their turn signals when driving. If you’re not considerate enough to alert other drivers of where you’re going, how could you possibly be considerate of me?

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]]> By: Courtney http://girlsguidetothegalaxy.com/2009/04/29/deal-breakers-what-wont-you-put-up-with/comment-page-1/#comment-654 Courtney Wed, 29 Apr 2009 17:25:21 +0000 http://girlsguidetothegalaxy.com/?p=541#comment-654 One of my biggest deal-breakers was (and is, even with friendships) and open-mind musically. Have an opinion? Excellent. But, don't close yourself off. I dated a guy once that swore that a certain [god-awful] band was the best, and he didn't listen to anything pre-1990's because it was crap. Eliminate decades of Rock and Roll greatness? DEAL BREAKER! One of my biggest deal-breakers was (and is, even with friendships) and open-mind musically. Have an opinion? Excellent. But, don’t close yourself off. I dated a guy once that swore that a certain [god-awful] band was the best, and he didn’t listen to anything pre-1990′s because it was crap.

Eliminate decades of Rock and Roll greatness? DEAL BREAKER!

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