Before you banish me from Saint Louis, hear me out.  I’m a Cubs fan.  The red-headed step child of Major League baseball, even though it’s been one hundred years since they’ve won the World Series and all curses, goats, black cats and Steve Bartmans, bad luck and downright poor playing aside, I still love ‘em.  You see, I was born in Illinois to a Cub-loving, Chicago area-raised father.  But on the opposite side, when we moved to Saint Louis right before I started school, I discovered my Mom to be a quiet Cardinals fan, as they were who her own father loved and followed as their family traveled the world.  They spent years in Puerto Rico, Cuba and Brazil searching newspapers for Cardinals box scores, even if only to be read in Spanish and Portuguese.  Growing up, my Mom and Dad teased each other as the two teams played, my Mom jabbing about the numbers of world series won by the Cards, my Dad jabbing back about the Cubs knowing the true meaning of “die hard fans.”  I come from a broken home.  (To make things even more confusing, my Godfather is a White Sox fan… I know no normalcy.) 

I’ve been a Saint Louisan for most of my life.  It’s my hometown and where most of my memories are from growing up are based.  The Cubs were my first love, but at some point in time, after the Ryne Sandberg and Mark Grace era, I found myself having a bit of a love affair with the Cardinals.  As a kid, I’d root against the Cardinals.  Adamantly.  But by high school, while I still was cheering for the Cubs to beat the Cardinals, I wasn’t rooting against the birds any more.  If the Cardinals were playing anyone other than the Cubs, I wanted them to win.  I didn’t know what to do with this feeling.  It was as if an alcoholic looked an O’Douls and suddenly said, “I’ll take one!”  The Cardinals and their lovable bunch were starting to woo me.  I went through an identity crisis.  What turned me into a full fledged Cardinals fan was Yadier Molina’s appearance in 2004.  His tenacity and defensive prowess continues to impress me every time I get to watch him play.  His humbleness is what draws me to him. I hope I played like him.

However, while I love the Cards… Every time I’m criticized personally for being a Cubs fan, I cling to them more. Most of my friends are Cardinals fans and, we’ve already been through this, I am too!  I own a Yadier Molina jersey and respect Tony LaRussa as a great manager(especially when he laid into the Saint Louis media two years ago for the cheap, distasteful shots at the Cubs) with his priorities in check (though, judging our pitching in that last series…).  I can take good natured teasing and understand that’s going to be a part of being a fan of a rival team.  Yes, I understand the Cubs have a horrendous track record of tears and heartbreak and well, all over inferiority. Yes, I understand the Cardinals have upteen more championships than the Cubs. I get it. I’m a fan. I pay attention to these things! I have to say, though, when someone yells, “Cubs suck!” at the end of a Cardinals game after the Cubs beat the Cardinals, I can’t help but think, “The Cubs just beat you.  If we suck, what does that say about the Cardinals?”  My favorite is when some random stranger tries to make me feel like a lesser person for being a Cubs fan.  Just because their history of winning is not as strong as the Cardinals, does not make me a bad person. 

Rivalries make sports what they are and Cardinals fans should be thankful for people like me.  If there were no Cubs fans, who would Cardinals fans make fun of?  I’ve always come from the school of root for your own team rather than boo the other team, but when it comes to Cubs/Cards, you can’t go to a game without some good natured ribbing.  I go to Cards games throughout the season in myhusba- I mean Molina jersey or red with my friends and then turn around and take their teasing and chiding (and understandably so) when we head out to a Cubs/Cards game and I’m wearing my blue.  But when it comes down to it, when I do get to go to a Cubs/Cards game, I just want to see a good game.  It’s a win win situation for me because I’ve got stock in both.  It’s like loving Pepsi AND Coke.  Vanilla AND chocolate.  I see no reason to discriminate either lovable team. 

But, in the end, I’m always going to be a Cubbie lover, it will never go away.  I can’t shake my family history, nor do I want to.  We didn’t get the Cardinals games before we moved to Saint Louis so my formative years were spent with the Cubbies.  The Cubs and Wrigley are one of the few tangible things I have that also belonged to my grandfather.  Even if they never win a world series and they are the ultimate underdog for life, they’re still going to be a part of me.  I met Ron Santo when I was a little girl and when my Dad told him I was a type I diabetic too, Santo looked at me the way someone looks at the runt puppy in the litter.  And he hugged me.  He gave me a reason to believe, and I wore his number, 10, with pride.  So, as the Cubs/Cards open a three game series tonight at 7:15, I’ll be watching the game from home, thinking about both of my passed grandfathers and smiling.  I’m just how they wanted their granddaughter to be.