As I write this, the heat index hovers at 99 degrees even though it’s dusk. Another hot, oppressive St. Louis day. I’ve been drinking glass after glass of water all day, but now it’s time for a reward – a crisp, cold beer.

If you know beer you know what to drink when it’s this damn hot. But if you’re looking for an alternative to that chilled Chardonnay, you might need some help. I’d hate for you to start your summer beer-drinking with a mass-produced light beer with fake citrus flavors. No one deserves that. Let’s look at what makes a good summer beer, and who’s making good summer beer in St. Louis.

The beer brainiacs at Real Beer have a great name for summer brews: “lawnmower beers.” Its got to be the kind of drink that would taste so very good after an hour of huffing through the lawn in the sun. They also point out that although these beers taste great on a hot day, they’re not really going to quench your thirst. Alcohol dehydrates, so if you’re going to drink beer, make sure you drink lots and lots of water, too.

Now … what beer to drink? 

Lagers comprise the most common beers consumed in America. It’s the ubiquitous yellow fizzy beer that’s the bane of the beer snob. This doesn’t mean that there aren’t some great lagers, especially in a town with a German brewing history like ours, and their mild, slightly bitter flavor tastes light and pairs great with grilled food and salads. Pilsners are basically the same as lagers, but Czech in origin.

Local lagers available in bottles include Schlafly’s Summer Lager and Pilsner, and Charleville’s Pilsner. Lots of local lagers are only available on tap including Mattingly’s Billy Pilgrim’s Imperial Czech Pilsner, Morgan Street Brewing’s Honey Wheat, Square One’s Festival Lager, and Amalgamated’s Helles.

Hefewiezen is another German-style beer. This one contains lots of wheat and malt, and is unfiltered which gives it a light color and body. The malt gives it a sweetness which is balanced by a higher carbination. If you don’t like bitter, you’ll like hefes and there’s no lack of them around here. Schlafly has a regular Hefewiezen that’s sold year-round, but in the summer months they also have one with raspberry added. O’Fallon Brewery is also heavy on the hefes, including their award-winning Wheat and Wheach (wheat + peach) beers.

Wit Not just a description of its drinkers, wit is actually Belgian for “white”. They’re also called “witbier,” and they tend to be a bit on the sour side with low bitterness. Charleville has Half-Wit Wheat, which is just that – a marriage of a Belgian wheat beer and a Hefewiezen. At Mattingly you can get a cold draught BrightSide Belgian White.

Kolsch And we’re back to the Germans. Kolsch combines the lager and ale brewing techniques to create a beer that balances sweetness and bitterness in a pale brew. While bottle Kolsch is pretty fine – Schalfly and O’Fallon Gold are both tasty – it’s always better on tap. Augusta’s Blonde Ale is actually a Kolsch that leans toward the ale’s sweetness.

Of course, if you want to drink a heavy porter or stout in the summer, no one’s going to stop you. And anyone who makes fun of you might need to be cracked over the head with a bottle. As always, if you’re going to drink, drink what you like.