I’ve always been something of a “guy’s girl.” You know, the kind of chick that can hang with the boys, whether it involve throwing a tight spiral in a game of touch football or playing wingman at the corner bar. To this day, I suspect that I am allergic to dresses and can tell raunchy stories with the best of them. I’ve been to a few bachelor parties in my time and was even best man for my dad when he got remarried. Yes, I wore a tux. No, I had no part in planning HIS bachelor party activities and have no confirmation on the strippers that may or may not have made an appearance. That would just be gross and I simply do not want to know.

I’ve always taken pride in my ability to handle the men-folk, but it does come with its’ own brand of heartbreak. Namely, the quiet scream of a love-bruising often referred to as “The Friend Zone.” In my case, The Friend Zone went down like this: I would find myself crushing on one of the guys in my circle of friends and I wanted to be there for him. So I played supportive and listened to his adventures in dating. I counseled. I questioned. I consoled. I wanted to be the one to dry his tears when his latest relationship inevitably went awry. I wanted him to turn to me, lightning bolts a-flashing in his eyes, as he thought to himself, “Why have I been wasting my time with these floozies, when Lauren has been here all along? She’s so kind! So supportive! So hot! I must have her!”

That day never came. Instead, I was there to dry his tears. I was there when he started dating the New Intruder. I was there when The New Intruder became The One. And I was definitely there when my heart silently cleaved in two. I was there several times, in fact. Finally, in the interest of self-preservation, I learned that proximity breeds familiarity. And familiarity doesn’t breed romance. No, it breeds fart jokes, noogies and a little bit of loneliness when you’re dealing with your guy friends.

No matter how “The Friend Zone” plays out in your particular melodrama, it’s just not pleasant. And it is seemingly inescapable. Once you reach that level of comfort with someone, it can be incredibly difficult to climb out of it and into the “She’s So Wicked Special, I Must Bone Her Zone.” But here are a few tips to give you a boost of sexy juice anyway.

1. Don’t forget you are a woman. Or, in other words, don’t be afraid to flirt. Now, proceed with caution on this one. You can’t just go from wearing sweat pants and a dirty wife-beater in his presence every day to breaking out the stilettos and mall hair whenever he comes around. (Actually, you shouldn’t break out the mall hair anyway. It’s 2009, not 1983.) A quick downshift like that will make him wonder what’s up. But you can flirt in subtle ways. A glance that lasts just a beat longer than is necessary. A touch on the arm that may not have been there before. A slightly sexy, teasing joke that will remind him that you are a girl, with all of the requisite parts. He will never want to make sweet love with those parts if he doesn’t remember they are there to begin with. It is now your job to remind him.

2. Jealousy, when used appropriately, is your friend. Now, I am not a supporter of game playing. I’m not telling you to wax poetic on all of the guys you could be spending time with when you are with friend-boy. That’s just petty. I’m telling you to be out with those men. Nothing is attractive about a woman sitting at home, waiting for a dude to call. And nothing is more attractive than a woman who knows what she wants and goes after it. Plus, we all know that men usually want what isn’t easy to have. This is a win-win proposition. Friend-boy may just have to ponder what it is these men see in you – and may start to see it too. Or, you could meet a man that rocks your face off, to the point where you forget all about your buddy.

3. You are not his psychiatrist. Not unless you are prescribing meds and he is paying you by the hour, at least. I definitely wouldn’t suggest blowing your friend off if he really has a problem – after all, you are friends and friends are there for each other in times of need. But don’t make yourself too available to him. You are not his beck-and-call girl. You are not his confessor. You are certainly not his option when nothing else is going on. You are his fabulous friend, the one with a life and a job and family. A few straight-to-voicemail phone calls isn’t going to kill him. And a man can’t miss you if you are always around, ready to pop open a few beers and watch “Spaceballs.”

Above all, remember how truly amazing you really are. If he doesn’t get that, if he can’t see past the friend zone and get into the end zone, then he is the one missing out. So find someone that will appreciate it, throw a little sauciness that way (so you don’t fall into the friend zone with THIS one) and enjoy the ride.