Alas, Billy Mays. I’m a kitchen purist and not a fan of gadgets, but I’ll admit that I always swooned a little when I’d see the Big City Slider Station infomercial. It almost looks like it might work.

I have no idea why this gadget got my attention, since I don’t even like White Castles.

A few weeks before Mr. Mays’ untimely and overshadowed passing, I found an interesting take on sliders that doesn’t involve a special contraption. Between Billy’s death and a holiday weekend forecast that isn’t exactly grill-friendly, it seems like a good time to localize these oven-based sliders and add a crunchy take on a farmer’s market staple: Bacon-Blue Sliders with Beer-Battered Squash.

Bacon-Blue Sliders

• 1 cup sweet onion, small diced (abundant at the farmer’s markets)
• 1 1/2 pounds American Grassfed ground beef
• 1 pound Burger’s peppered bacon (reserve 2 slices)
• Ropp Jersey Chedder Blue cheese, crumbled
• 8 Companion Bakery chipotle slider buns.

1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees.
2. Spread onions on the bottom of a 9″ x 13″ baking dish. Evenly spread ground beef to all edges of the dish. Overlapping, cover with slices of bacon. Bake 35 minutes. It’ll be swimming in grease. Don’t fear. Using a metal ladle and heatproof container (Pyrex glass or an old can), scoop the grease from around the edges.
3. Evenly top with cheese. Return to oven for two minutes or until cheese is melty.
4. Cut meat into eight equal burgers and place on buns.

Beer-Battered Squash

• 1 cup all-purpose flour
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 6 ounces Schalfly Summer Lager (or other lager-style beer)
• 2 egg whites, whipped until really frothy
• 2 slices bacon
• canola oil
• 4 small to medium yellow squash and/or zucchini, sliced 1/4″ thick  (If you can’t find them, you’re not looking.)

1. In a medium bowl, combine flour, salt, and beer. Gently, fold in whipped egg whites.
2. In a large skillet, cook two slices of bacon. When finished, remove from pan, leaving the drippings. Add enough canola oil to the skillet to equal about 1/4″. Heat until oil sizzles when a drop of water is added.
3. While waiting for oil to heat, eat the bacon and drink the remaining six ounces of beer. It’s hot. You’ve earned it. 
4. Working in small batches, dunk squash slices into the batter and coat completely. Add to the hot oil, being careful to not overcrowd.
5. Cook about two minutes, flip, and continue cooking until golden brown. Place cooked squash rounds on a brown paper shopping bag to drain.

This isn’t health food by any means. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if this was the meal that kicked Mr. Mays’ heart disease into overdrive last week. Regardless, it’s a holiday and this is an incredibly tasty way to splurge.

Rest in peace, Billy. We’ll do our best to get by without your gadgets and screaming.