Long ago (last Thursday) and far away (Silicon Valley), there were two highly popular social networking websites, we will call them Twitter and Faecbook. These sites are the life blood for many a bored cubicle dweller, freshman dorm and marketing company alike. Since their inception they have become a knowledge management tool on steroids at their best, and an unmonitored dating service at their worst. To it’s credit, Twitter has lived through an invasion of Oprah fans while simultaneously proving that American’s really do care more about what Ashton Kutcher ate for dinner than getting their news. While never to be outdone by a teeny, tiny web app that doesn’t even let you share what would traditionally have been called blackmail pictures, Facebook has survived many a perilous phishing scam and virus attack, in addition to unleashing a redesign that precipitated mass hysteria.

While Facebook and Twitter can withstand Oprah and user hysteria, last Thursday users the world over lamented over an entire day of missed connections and site failures when a DDoS (distributed denial of service) attack was launched against a dude in the Republic of Georgia and social media went dark for a day. When Twitter was down people went to Facebook, when Facebook was down people went to – gasp – email and phone calls to get in touch with one another. Now, don’t get me wrong, I feel the need to have the bits and bytes of these sites coursing through my veins just like everyone else to prevent painful withdrawals, but as the reality of this rolling blackout of social networking took hold I realized just how dependent I had become on status updates and “Which highly disturbed literary figure are you” quizzes to stay in touch with the people I care about – and that reality was more frightening than living a week without scrolling reports of lunch time hot spots and links to latest articles. Here is what I realized the day social media stood still…

It was Friday evening when I was pulling away from the restaurant after dinner and chocolate chip cookies with two of my best girlfriends from high school when the reality of all this social networking damage became crystallized in my mind. As I turned the key in the ignition and my old rusty trusty ride coughed to life it hit me – this Facebook and Twitter stuff (or more accurately my constant use of it) had really screwed the whole night up. Though we have been in touch via wall posts and Twitter exchanges, I hadn’t seen either of those lovely ladies for more than 15 minutes in almost a year, yet I knew that one of them was expecting her first baby and had already seen the sonogram pictures (a much as those things terrify me to look at – seriously). And I already knew that the other had finished culinary school with flying colors, but was working as a sous chef in a not very glamourous kitchen to get some experience under her belt just until something perfect opens up.

In another lifetime I would have learned the exciting news that both friends had to share over nibbles of sweet, melted chocolate, or even during a catching up phone conversation, and we would have sat there on the restaurant’s patio for hours sharing stories and divulging juicy details. Unfortunately, through many hours of news feeds and quick Twitter shares, the magic was gone and what used to be a whole evening dedicated to a year’s worth of catching up was done after two hours, and I was going to be home before the news. Sure, if one of us wasn’t with child we could have extended the evening with some rambling and fou-fou martinis, but after being friends with these gals for almost twenty years I know how exciting it used to be to get the girls together, how many hours we could spend getting to know each other again and I also know that it had nothing to do with the sweet-sweet encouragement of chocolate liquor and vodka. As my car shimmied (yes, it has taken to that lately) down the last few streets towards home I rued the day that Facebook got in the way of girl time, and found myself wondering how different life, and friendships, would be if the DDoS attack had been a rousing success and caused a social networking apocalypse. 

Yes, last Thursday everyone was freaking out like writers in a coffee bean and nicotine shortage, but might having a day without social networking, or even a lifetime, be better for us in the end? In fact, some folks in academia found that Facebook actually has the reverse effect on our relationships than intended, and that many people are substituting it for the direct contact that is an inherent part of deeper connections and relationships. So, in fact, while we think Facebook is helping us by reconnecting us with long lost grade school chums, and helping us become or stay close with people, we are actually just screwing the whole thing up. Yea… I wish someone should have told me that before I became addicted. But now it may be too late for us, and we might really be turning into those Fatty McFatersons from Wall-E, or – more accurately – those Lonely McLonersons that can’t give a hug or jump up and down in 1′s and 0′s when they hear exciting news from old, dear friends.

Melody is the Managing Editor and resident Gadget Geek for Girls Guide. She is a freelance writer for blogs and such, and her primary focus is Girls Guide. You can email her at melody [at] girlsguidetothegalaxy [dot] com, or follow her on Twitter – @cosmosgirl.