Or maybe the more logical questions are: What is a fruitcake? Does anyone like it? Is it actually edible? Are 50 fruitcake loaves and mortar suitable building materials for an outdoor dog house?
Ok, that last one may just be my imagination running wild. But seriously, it’s not hard to think of tons of alternative, more desirable things to do with fruitcake other than eat it. Those unlucky enough to have the gift of fruitcake bestowed upon them during the holidays are probably more likely to use it as a seasonal decorative item and then toss it rather than actually consume it. Some resourceful people actually save their fruitcakes for an entire year and re-gift them during the next holiday season. Another option is recycling (see The Great Fruitcake Recycling Project)…
However, I can count my own mother among the people in this world who actually enjoys eating fruitcake. In fact, my mom likes it so much that she has been known to go out and buy herself a fruitcake which I’m pretty sure goes against the unspoken cardinal rule of holiday fruitcake decorum: a fruitcake is always a gift. No one makes (or buys) it and then forces it on themselves. Except my mother.
Luckily, I did not inherit a tendency toward this deviant behavior. Fruitcake is basically a sticky conglomeration of nuts and candied fruits smashed together with a little cake to fill in the spaces. That sounds really gross to me.
Yet for some odd reason, fruitcake traditions (and in some cases, actual loaves of fruitcake themselves) have stood the test of time. According to this article, fruitcake has been around for thousands of years. It was enjoyed by ancient Egyptians – what did you think the pyramids were made of?
Another interesting fact in fruitcake history is that it was outlawed in Europe in the early 18th century for being “sinfully rich.” Uh huh. Or maybe the Europeans were onto something – if fruitcake was illegal, I’m guessing not too many people received it as a gift. This would not be a bad thing. In 19th century England, it was a custom for unmarried wedding guests to sleep with a fruitcake underneath their pillow, which was believed to make them dream of the person they were going to marry. Another clever, yet thinly veiled excuse for not eating the stuff. Bravo, British!
I’ll end this post with an easy fruitcake recipe from epicurean.com just in case you’re curious about what it is, are looking for good Christmas gifts for your enemies, or you want to try my dog house idea. If you want to make it simply because you enjoy eating it, then in my opinion you are (as the saying goes) nuttier than a fruitcake! <Insert groan here.>
Ingredients:
1 package Pillsbury nut bread (cranberry works well)
1 egg
1 cup water
1 cup raisins
1 cup pecans
1/2 cup candied pineapple
1 cup candied cherries (green and red mixed)
Directions:
Mix all.
Bake 350 degrees in greased pan.
Cool 15 min. then remove
Cooking times:
Muffin pan: 20-25 minutes
8X4 loaf pan: 70-70 minutes
9X5 loaf pan: 60-70 minutes
Bundt or tube pan: 65-75 minutes (double recipe)
Image Credit: The Willful Caboose
Carlie is the Food and Drink Editor for Girls Guide. By day she is an educational textbook editor, and she moonlights as a foodie and barfly. You can email her at carlie [at] girlsguidetothegalaxy [dot] com, and you can follow her on Twitter – @carbirwin.




Thanks for helping keep us lonely fruitcakes alive and tasting good. Its not easy being an unwanted holiday dessert. Makes my fruits and nuts really sad.
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This is your mother coming to the defense of fruitcake! I have tried to raise you to appreciate the finer things in life, but you often seem to disagree with me about what they include. What’s not to like about candied fruit and nuts? Not to mention that fruitcake is a holiday tradition – and who doesn’t like the holidays? I guess it would do no good to force-feed you some of the delicious fruitcake I always buy for myself and nobody else eats because you are already too set in your ways. (Actually I didn’t buy myself one this year because we’re going on vacation and I wouldn’t be able to finish it) You just don’t know what you’re missing. Love you!
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This response is from another mother who has been known to buy herself a fruitcake now and then. While there are indeed many bad fruitcakes out there, (see the above recipe from epicurian.com as an example, every self-respecting fruitcake needs to be marinated in rum and /or brandy!), those who are curious should try a bite of an Assumption Abbey fruitcake made by the Trapist Monks of Assumption Abbey in Ava Missouri. These guys know the secret to producing a fabulous fruitcake. You can buy them locally (St Louis area) at several stores or you can buy them from the Abbey’s website at http://www.trappistmonks.com The website says they are currently sold out until March so there must still be a lot of fruitcake lovers around. Whenever I buy one, I NEVER get to eat the whole thing myself.
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Carlie- I, too, loathe store-bought fruitckake. I especially hate the kind with radioactive, neon green cherries on top. Those cherries certainly do not meet my qualifications for “unprocessed” foods. However, my mom makes a mean fruitcake — the brandy soaked kind that Sara refers to. Hers is chock full of figs, apricots, walnuts, etc — but none of the “fruit” that will cause Chernobyl-like reactions! I love it, but, yes, I do have a bias. I posted it on my blog recently. http://www.sweetkarolineadventuresinfood.blogspot.com
Loved your post! Hope you have a happy new year!
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